Two things that make me laugh, for very different reasons.

Here's a thing for those of you who want to know a little more about Jamaica Plain* (it's better than any other plain!).

And here's a thing for those of you who want to know a little more about bending in weird directions.

* Jamaica Plain is my spiritual home in Boston, and where I'd definitely live if it weren't next door to the neighbourhood I grew up in. I will almost certainly end up there if I stay in Boston. Somerville is where The Lawyer lives. She does play lots of sports and eat breakfast food. I, however, am not a vegan.

XOXO

Ugh.

You guys.

I just gchatted with The Chef. I still have no idea what's going on - I don't think she's come to any final decision, but I'm not entirely sure - but I have to ask a very serious question:

Is there anything more infuriating than someone you desperately want to be angry at being nothing but respectful and reasonable at you?

I mean this. I always thought I wanted someone who thought about my feelings and listened to me and went out of her way to be careful of me. Turns out what I really want is the exact opposite, because now I'm getting the thoughtful, caring bullshit and it's making me want to kick puppies.

I can't handle it at all. I know how to deal with screaming fights and wounded feelings and storming-offs. I know what to do when someone shuts me out completely or punishes me with silence or acts in a way that is entirely inappropriate to the situation and to our relationship. The script for any scene that ends with me sobbing so hard I get sick? I know it by heart. But this whole thing she's pulling on me here is breaking my mind. How dare she be honest? How dare she be gentle, and think before she speaks, and weigh her words carefully? And worst of all, how dare she listen to what I say I want, and then give it to me?!

Because then I have nothing to be angry or sad about, except the fact that she ended up ditching me and that was not how the story was supposed to go. And I feel hurt, and disappointed, and foolish, and I have nowhere to turn any of that except on myself.

XOXO